Haus to Home
by E.T.R Da Polski
Summary: Dieter and his family are moving to South Park after a long, troubled childhood. How would their life change in South park and would they realise that settling in to South Park isn't so easy after all? OC story. WARNING: Smut, smoking, swearing, boy x boy and boy x girl.


_So, here you go, Haus to Home. The characters names are; Dieter Reinmund Eichmann, Claudia Erna Eichmann and the father is Albrecht Gomeric Eichmann. I apologize if any of the German is incorrect, I don't know much. I am also accepting OC's for this story, just so you know. Hope you enjoy it, review and PM if you do._

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DIETER'S POV:

"Verfügen wir über alles?"

"Ja."

"Sind Sie sicher?"

"Ja, bin ich sicher."

"Nun, fangen wir unsere Reise."

As I waved goodbye to the place I used to call home, I hoped it would be the last time. Three times is enough. Claudia was reluctant to go. I don't know how she could be. We're going to a new place and starting a new life. How can that not be exciting?

30 MINUTES LATER:

"Vater, wie viel länger, bis wir dorthin?"

"Dreieinhalb Stunden."

"Wann werden wir eine Pause machen?"

"In einer Stunde."

"Wann wird w-"

"Stoppen Sie fragen so viele Fragen. Wenn dir langweilig ist, kannst du mit deiner Schwester reden."

I slumped back into my seat with a thud, the seatbelt making a slapping sound as it retracted back into it's original position. I crossed my arms and looked at Claudia. She didn't seem in a talking mood.

I decided against saying anything. I, instead, pulled out my iPod and carefully inserted my earphones. To block out as much noise as possible, I selected Bückstabü by Rammstein. I turned my head away and gazed out the window as the music blared.

I saw Claudia roll her eyes as I tapped my feet and hands in time with the music. I hope the music program at this South Park High school has some space for me.

I wonder how the teenagers of South Park will react to a German student?

KYLE'S POV:

"Hey, you guys hear about this new kid and his family?"

"No, what about 'im?"

"He's German."

"So?"

"So, Kyle, you're Jewish, he's German, he-"

"No, Cartman, shut up. He's probably gonna be just like us. Normal."

"But what if he isn't?"

"Cartman, once again, shut up."

"Fine, Kyle, ignore my warnings."

"I always do."

"But you'll have only yourself to blame when he-"

"I'm gonna stop listening to you and start talking."

And now he starts sulking like a big baby. Dumb-ass.

"So, Stan, any thoughts on this new student?"

"No, not really."

"Well, I think this'll actually be a chance to introduce some diversity to South Park, y'know, mix up the culture of this place."

"Look out everyone, Kyle's gone into high society douche mode."

"Cartman, for twentieth time today, SHUT UP."

DIETER'S POV:

"What are you listening to?"

"Rammstein. What else would I be listening to?"

"Euro-dance. The genre of the gays."

"If you make one more gay joke, I swear I'm going to push you out of the car."

She smirked as she looked back out of her window. The view wasn't astonishing. Just busy highways and the occasional rest stop. As I was about to ask my father how much longer it would be until we stop somewhere, he turned the car into a service station.

Before the car had come to a complete stop, Claudia opened the door and stepped out. I did the same and walked around the car to follow her.

"I'm getting a coffee."

"Claudia, you don't drink coffee."

"I can start."

"Why are you speaking English? We're not in South Park yet."

"Why are YOU speaking English?"

"Because I am, smart mouth. Now hurry up, if we want to get to South Park before dark, we need to spend as little time as possible not going anywhere."

"Wir werden nur ein paar Minuten sein, das verspreche ich."

"Okay, ich werde im Auto bleiben und auf dich warten."

"Okay, daddy."

"Daddy? Nice to see someones still playing that tired old game."

"At least it's a game I can play." She said, sticking her tounge out at me.

"You got lucky."

"I didn't get lucky, I was born with the correct genitalia."

"Really? Genitalia? You'd much rather say pu-"

"Shh! Someone might hear you!"

"What if I say it in German?"

"No."

"Fine, let's just hurry up and get something to drink, my throat's dry as hell."

"It's probably dry because you-"

"Are you going to make a gay joke?"

"Ah, you take all the fun out of it for me."

5 MINUTES LATER:

"So, are you still in a bad mood about moving to South Park?"

"What was your first clue?"

"Just try to look on the bright side."

"What's the bright side?"

"You might meet someone who's boyfriend material."

"Mm, maybe. Why are you so cheerful about this?"

"I'm just being optimistic. I like the thought of being able to re-invent myself. And you never know, I might meet someone in the music class."

"Yeah, I'm sure there's gonna be a whole array of people to choose from in the South Park high musical club."

"See, I prefer to look at the glass half full."

"And, much like this coffee, I see it as half empty."

10 MINUTES LATER:

I opened the car door, sat down, grabbed my iPod and put my earphones in. I selected Mein Teil by Rammstein and drifted off into the music as dad started up the car.

"Sind Sie beide bereit zu gehen?"

"Ich bin und so ist Dieter."

"Hm? Hast du gerade meinen Namen sagen?"

"Ja, fragte Vater, wenn wir fertig waren und ich sagte, wir seien. Haben Sie ein Problem damit?"

"Nein, nicht wirklich. Warum hast du dich für mich zu beantworten?"

"Weil Sie hörte ihn nicht mit Ihren Ohrhörer in. Sobald die Musik beginnt, Sie in Ihrem eigenen kleinen Welt zu gehen."

"Muss ich wirklich?"

"Ja, das tun Sie."

I'm always learning new things about myself.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER:

"Diese dumme Datenverkehr wird nicht bewege."

"Wie lange, bis wir zu South Park bekommen?"

"In diesem Datenverkehr, drei, vielleicht vier Stunden."

I leant back into my seat and looked at Claudia.

"So, a four hour journey is now eight. Scheiße."

"At least I get a chance to sleep now."

"Claudia, I doubt you'll be able to get any sleep."

"Just watch me."

"Okay, we're two hours into this trip, should've been four but it'll now be eight, it's already one o'clock..."

After calculating it all in my head, I had figured out when we should arrive in South Park.

"So, roughly seven o'clock."

"Seven?"

"That's an approximation, I can't be sure."

"Well, if I'm gonna be asleep for that length of time, I need a pillow. Give me your sweatshirt."

"No, use your own."

"Oh, come on, don't be a dick."

"Ugh, fine, here you go."

I yanked off my sweatshirt and rolled it into bundle resembling a short, wide pillow. I handed it to her and she put it behind her head.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Where's my thank you?"

She sighed and mouthed "thank you" as she began to drift off to sleep. I reached into the bag underneath my seat and pulled out my Rammstein hooded sweatshirt. I put it on and leant back into my seat. I could feel myself getting drowsier. I should just try to sleep.

FIVE HOURS LATER:

I woke up and blinked heavily before rubbing my eyes and looking over at Claudia. Still asleep. Looking out of the window didn't give me any clues as to where we were so I checked the GPS on my iPod. We were just under an hour away from South Park.

My estimated arrival time of seven o'clock was almost right. I reached over to Claudia and tapped her shoulder. She was in an incredibly deep sleep. I decided not to wake her up. She gets crabby when her sleep is interrupted.

"Es kann sein, spät, aber zumindest der Datenverkehr ist weg."

"Vielen Dank ficken dafür." Claudia suddenly mumbled as she woke herself up slowly.

"Stoppen schwören."

"Leid, Papa."

"You looking forward to this anymore than you were?"

"No."

"Try being positive for once. You might enjoy it."

"I doubt it."

"How can I make you more positive?"

"You could get me a boyfriend."

"Well, when we get to South Park, I'll keep my eyes open."

"Really?" She said with a yawn.

"Yeah, it's not that hard to figure out what kind of man you want. As long as he's taller than you and doesn't care you're German, you'll be all over him."

"Pretty much."

FIFTY FIVE MINUTES LATER:

"So, here we are. South Park."

"Wow. This place is actually pretty nice." Claudia said with an upward inflection.

"Told you you'd like it here."

"I've never seen this much snow."

"Me neither."

Dad pulled into the driveway of our new house and me and Claudia stepped out. In a moment oozing cliché, we looked at each other and then slowly up at the house.

"Well, this is our new home. We better start getting our things out of the car."

"Claudia, look over there, down the street."

I pointed to group of boys, roughly our age.

One of them was short and, to put it lightly, fat. One of them was quite tall, with red hair.

One of them had blonde hair and a cigarette in his hand.

The last one had black hair, blue eyes and was, to sound as straight as possible, hot.

Claudia saw him and quivered. I would hate to be in her head right now. The black-haired, blue-eyed individual had noticed us and subtly pointed in our direction before talking to his friends.

"Come on, Claudia. We need to help dad get everything out the car."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"B-but, I want to have his babies..." She mumbled absent mindedly.

Then he did something he really shouldn't have done. He looked at her and smiled. He smiled. Worst decision he would ever make.

She gasped slightly and smiled back.

"Claudia, come on. You'll see him at school tomorrow."

"Or I can see him now."

"No. We need to get our stuff in and go to sleep."

"But-"

"No but's."

They were quite close to us at this point. Within ear shot. I saw one of them, the red head, approach us.

"Hey, are you the uh, German kid who's starting at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm Dieter and this my sister, Claudia.

"Not Claw-dia, Clow-dia."

"I'm Kyle, this is Kenny, Cartman and Stan."

This Cartman didn't say anything or do anything. He just looked. Kenny muttered something I couldn't understand. And Stan just did a small wave. He was looking at Claudia.

"Claudia, are you going to help me get our things or should I just do it all myself?"

"Shut up, Deet."

"I told you not to call me Deet."

"Fine, what about Reinmund?"

"How would you like it if I called you Erna?"

"Okay, I won't call you Deet."

"Hallelujah." I sarcastically mumbled as I walked around the car to get some of my things.

Kyle followed me, leaving Claudia to fend for herself. My father heard the conversation and decided to introduce himself to Kyle.

"Hello, how are you? Just call me Al." He said, roughly shaking Kyle's hand.

"I'm Kyle. I heard you were moving here. The teachers told us you're German?"

"Yes, I am."

Kyle turned to me as I opened the trunk of the car.

"Is that a drum kit in there?"

"What was your first clue? The two twenty four inch bass drums or the six cymbal stands?"

"Well, the bass drums were the main clue. So, I'm guessing you play?"

"Yeah, mainly Rammstein songs but I try writing my own music."

"Are you thinking of joining the uh, music club at school?"

"It's the first thing I'm going to do."

"At least you'll know someone in there."

"You talking about yourself?"

"Yeah. So, do you want any help with all this?"

"No, I'll be fine. I think you should save your friend from Claudia."

He looked over and saw Claudia flirting with Stan.

"She wants a boyfriend and she'll do anything to get one. If he wants to get out alive, tell him he has to refrain from smiling at her."

"Okay, I'll see you at school tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it here."

He signalled his friends to follow him. Stan seemed reluctant to but he did eventually follow. I walked up to Claudia to get her attention. I grabbed her arm and tapped her shoulder.

"Come on, Claudia, we need to get our stuff in."

"Oh, my God, I want him."

"You can have him tomorrow but now, we need to focus on choosing our rooms and unpacking our things."

"Ah, damn it." She stamped off towards the car and started to grab her items from it.

I looked down the street and watched as the four boys disappeared out of view.

That Kyle is pretty cute.

I wonder if he's single?


End file.
